The Mad Hatter and His Curious Cat (and other random stories)
by flustered beauty
Summary: Hagrid has planned, what he thinks is an excellent lesson and he is bursting with excitement about it. Hermione, however, is filled with dread at the possibilities and quite rightly so. It was only a matter of weeks ago, that Malfoy was injured in class. What has Hagrid planned? And why is he determined to keep it a secret?
1. The Mad Hatter and His Curious Cat

_**Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Book Club**_

 _ **Book Chosen: Alice in Wonderland**_

 **Prompts Used:**

(Creature) Cheshire Cat - Bonus!

(Dialogue) "Who in the world am I?" / "Ah, that's the great puzzle."

(Word) Bizarre

(Word) croquet

(Title) Mad-Hatter

 _A/N: I drew quite a bit of inspiration from Alice in Wonderland, not just the prompts above. Most of the Cheshire Cat's speech is of my own creation but the song; I am odd, is actually from a deleted scene from the 1950's film. I haven't used the whole song and I have added lyrics of my own to change the overall feel of it; the first two lines and the last two lines are from the original song._

 _I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you like it xD_

* * *

 **The Mad Hatter and His Curious Cat**

"Harry," Hermione tapped on Harry's arm pulling him out of his daydream. "Hagrid's waving at you." She said pointing to the teachers table to a beaming, Hagrid. Harry waved back to him, a little less enthusiastically, before the sound of Hermione shouting diverted his attention.

"Ron!" Hermione snarled a little too loudly. "You know one of these days you will make yourself choke."

Ron glared back at her and then shovelled even more bacon into his mouth; shrugging his shoulders. Hermione huffed, and took a book from her bag, before disappearing behind it, leaving Harry and Ron to discuss the upcoming quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Ron continued to swallow down food like a starved pig as they argued about the best defensive strategies. By the time Hagrid approached their table, they were debating in very loud voices.

"Alrigh', Harry, Ron, 'ermione?" He said with a wide grin hidden beneath his wild beard.

"Hi, Hagrid." They said almost in unison, Hermione quickly hid behind her book again, still angry with the boys.

"I got a righ' lesson for you today. I don' wanna say to much, but you can bet it'll be a good'un. I'm just on me' way to prepare now, so I'll see you down there."

As Hagrid stomped off, Hermione slammed her book down on the table, unwittingly knocking a drink over Ron. He spluttered at the attack and stood up to dry himself as Hermione just continued with her rant.

"I just hope whatever he has planned is appropriate, especially after what happened with Malfoy and Buckbeak. He's got to be careful!" she said as she started packing away her things and left her breakfast half finished, before chasing after their giant teacher.

"I wish she was more trusting of Hagrid. We've had some excellent lessons so far, and what happened with Malfoy was his own fault!" Harry said defensively as Hermione ran off, though he knew, deep down, that she was right.

Ron played with his last crust of toast, ignoring Harry's questioning look.

"I know, mate but she's got a point. He has got to be careful now, hasn't he? What with the Malfoys sniffing around." He admitted reluctantly.

"Yeah, I suppose. I wonder what he's got. He seemed pretty excited, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not." Harry said with a weak laugh, inside he squirmed. Hagrid could not get into trouble again; not now.

Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Well there's no point in staying in suspense, is there? Shall we go down?"

Harry and Ron were the first ones to arrive outside Hagrid's odd, misshapen cottage. With nobody around they waited beside Hagrid's pumpkin patch. Soon enough Hermione stormed over from around the side of the hut, huffing and puffing.

"He won't tell me anything. He's out back preparing it now but he won't let me go near. He even threatened me with detention." She said with a slight waiver to her voice.

Harry didn't miss the fleeting look on her face as she said it but he let it go. His focus had to be on Hagrid; Today's lesson must be excellent and he would do what ever he could to make it so.

"Come for a sneaky lil' look 'ave ye? Well you won' be gettin' one; it's a surprise!" Hagrid said as he appeared, a twinkle of excitement in his eyes. "Ye can see it with the rest o' the class"

"It isn't... well it isn't... dangerous, is it Hagrid?" Hermione said as she looked down at the floor and played with her feet. "It's just after what happened with Buckbeack..."

"I ain' never shown anythin' dangerous in this class. That boy was an idiot, Buckbeak din' mean too..." Hagrid hiccoughed away a few silent sobs, obviously thinking about Buckbeak's impending trial.

"I'm sorry Hagrid. I didn't mean to imply.." Hermione apologised weakly.

"'S alrigh' 'ermione, no matter." He brightened up and gave her grin. "Righ' the rest of the class'll be along soon, I reckon. So I best get on with my preparations. Make sure they all stay 'ere. Don't let anyone come round back 'til I say so."

"What do you think it is?" Hermione looked at Harry with worry as Hagrid disappeared from sight.

"I dunno, but what ever it is, he's excited about it!" He said shrugging his shoulders.

Hermione's face turned to a mask of horror as she considered the possibilities; they knew all too well how Hagrid cooed over strange and dangerous creatures. None of them would forget Fluffy in a hurry and any assurances from Hagrid did nothing to reassure her.

"Relax, Hermione." Ron urged, "it'll be fine."

Soon the whole class was congregated around the front of Hargid's hut waiting for their teacher.

"Righ' then,' Hargrid's voice boomed as he approached them with massive strides. "I got something special to show ye all today. It's a very rare creature and i' took me a grea' deal o' bargaining to get him here, I'll tell ye. Well, come on then" he said leading them around the side of his house.

"He still hasn't told us what it is," Hermione whispered, as she walked with Harry and Ron, at the head of the line.

The rest of the unenthusiastic class slowly made their way to his makeshift garden, at the back of the hut.

"Come on, don' be shy." He called, beckoning them on and gathering them around.

Hagrid's tiny garden housed a stained and threadbare armchair, a rusted tin watering can and a few, questionable plants, but nothing else.

"What exactly are we supposed be looking at? Besides what I assume is your most prized possession." Draco shouted out, to the amusement of the other Slytherin's. Many of the Gryffindorins turned to glare at him, but they couldn't disagree completely. There appeared to be nothing in sight.

Hagrid blushed but otherwise ignored the comment. He bent low down into the chair and audibly whispered through gritted teeth, "Well where the ruddy 'ell are you now?"

With a faint pop and shrieks from the crowd, a very bright and very fat cat appeared, as if from nowhere, with a massive grin plastered on its face. It fluttered its eyelashes at Hagrid and regarded the crowd.

A few girls in the class gasped and squealed, most of the class took an unwitting step back and Pansy Parkinson pretended to faint at the shock, spinning on the spot and falling into Draco's waiting arms. Hermione turned to glare at her and hissed, "Get up, you blithering bimbo!" Much to Ron's delight and applause.

For the first time the entire class was silent as they stared at the creature with, confusion, revulsion, fear, wonder.

It was the most uncat-like cat; with its lurid pink and purple striped fur, it's large, knowing face and massive, almost clown-like grin. It was large, as large as quickly small pig. It looked at them in amusement.

"Wha' the bloody hell! What is it?" Ron said indignantly.

"Ahh..." Hagrid started but he was interrupted by a voice coming from the chair.

"What is it?" The cat replied with a cheeky wink and a wider grin, it almost looked psychotic.

The entire class jumped, some clutched at their hearts and Pansy screamed with genuine fear. Unrest rippled through the class, whispers amongst class mates. But the cat continued, ignorant of his surroundings.

"I should think, my young fellow, that the correct way to phrase that sentence would be to ask; who are you?" The cat gave Ron a nod and a wink and began pawing on the armchair. As his claws worked at the fabric he began to whistle, and then to the surprise of the class, broke out into song.

 _"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle._

 _I am neither a rich man's thing nor a human being,_

 _A snarling dog or a filthy hog (though I do like my food)_

 _Not loves keen spell or a wishing well_

 _Nor croquet bat or your top hat_

 _Not a talking cat!_

 _Oh wait! yes I am!_

 _I am, a Cheshire Cat!"_

The cat finished and turned to clean himself. Hagrid beamed as he turned to face the class,"Well as he said, he's a cheshire cat and despite their errr...err.."

"Eccentricities," Hermione offered shakily, unable to look away from the... thing.

"Righ'. Despite their eccentricities they're highly intelligent. As clever as you or me, in fact."

"I highly doubt that you are as clever as me." Malfoy muttered to his group giggling Slytherins.

Hagrid went red but his beard and his smile hid it well, "So what d'ya think?"

"It's a bit mental, isn't it." Ron said.

"Don't let him fool ya, he's a fascinating..."

"What did you just call me? Mental?" The cat spat, aghast. "Mental...! I should think not, good sir!" he shouted out in protest. "Crackers, maybe. Twisted; sure. But mental, How very dare you!"

Recovering from the initial shock, some of the boys sniggered amongst their friends, as the cat pranced up onto the arm of the chair and sang another tune.

 _"Most cats have handsome whiskers but me, I've got a beard_

 _'Cause obviously, quite obviously, I am weird._

 _Most cats don't have thick eyebrows, but mine, they take half my face_

 _But obviously, quite obviously, my head's all over the place_

 _My massive grin invites you in, but do not count me as your friend_

 _Because obviously, quite obviously, My mind's around the bend._

 _When I was a kitten, they'd said I'd be a gem!_

 _But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat, it's odd how odd I am."_

The bizarre cat finished his song, gave a yawn, and as if he became bored with the proceedings, curled up on his seat and went to sleep; occasionally letting out exaggerated yawns and purrs.

It was evident that Hagrid had given a great class and Hermione let herself relax and enjoy it. The mutterings among the class were generally positive. Gryffindor's gave the best reviews. All agreeing that this was the best lesson yet. None of them had ever encountered anything so strange before and they loved it.

A few Slytherins tried to provoke Hagrid, or Harry but mostly their voices were lost in the crowd. Draco was relentless with his shots and finally one hit a nerve.

"So what's the point of this talking cat? Seems to me that it's nothing more than a transfigured teddy bear." Draco sneered snotily, breaking the awed silence.

"Talking cat..Transfigured teddy bear." Hagrid spluttered. "Have some respect, Boy! This beautiful creature is more than just a talking teddy bear. He is an incredibly intelligent creature. Full of unique and special magic. Not only does he think and talk like a 'uman, once you gain their friendship ain't nothin' more loyal.

Not only that, the cheshire cat can disapparate and turn invisible at will; I'd say it's a handy creature to have as an ally, if you can fin' one. Most don't, incredibly rare see. They reckon there's only tens left." Hagrid seemed to loose steam as he spoke with passion whilst staring lovingly at the napping cat.

Draco said no more for the rest of the lesson and hung back, sulking, as the rest of the class moved in closer when the cat decided again it wanted the attention and fuss.

More than half of the class groaned as Hagrid called time on the lesson.

"Come on now, away with ye'. You don't wan' to be late for ye next lesson, do ye'." Hagrid beamed.

Hermione, Ron and Harry were among the last to leave. Harry reached up and tried to pat Hagrid on the shoulder but barely grazed his elbow. Harry gave his friend a wide grin before turning to leave with his classmates.

As the trio followed the Gryffindors to the greenhouses, Hermione was bouncing on her heels and smiling; she grasped Harry's arm and said, "That was rather good wasn't it?"

"Good? Hermione, that was excellent!"


	2. For The Greater Good

**disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or settings portrayed xD**

 _Written for Hogwarts School Witchcraft and Wizardry: Music Club_

 _Defying Gravity- Wicked_

 _Prompts Used:_

 _(Characters) Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindewald_

 _(Word) Defy_

 _(Word) Instincts_

 _(Dialogue) "Together we're unlimited."_

 _(Dialogue) "I don't know how, but I hope you're happy now."_

* * *

 **For the Greater Good**

 _1946_

There was a knot of tension twisting and wrenching in his stomach. He had avoided the journey for almost a year, but knew it must be done. With one last sweeping glance across his classroom, Albus closed the door and waved his wand over lock. Wrapping his scarf tightly around his neck, he set off through the grounds.

He walked the path to the wrought iron gates as he braced himself against the bitter Bristish winter. Albus gave the Hog at the top of the gate a nod (as he always did) as he broke and recast the enchantments binding the gates and continued walking on. After fifty yards or so, Albus stopped. He glanced around and then quickly turned on the spot and disappeared as if into thin air.

As he returned to land with a gentle thud, Albus found himself on a barren plain, dominated by massive sand dunes, about two miles from the shore on the Belgian coast.

It was dreadfully windy so Albus used his arm to protect himself from the blasting sand as he crossed the hilly terrain. Luckily, the long flowing sleeve of his robes protected most of his face, but already he could feel his beard becoming heavier as the grit nestled in amongst the hair.

With massive strides he made his way through the sand in little time and quickly found himself on flatter ground, soon he could see the faint outline of the shore in the distance.

The salt laced air lingered on his taste buds, making him thirsty, as he made his way closer to the sea. He stopped a few of times to examine twigs, abadoned on his path, finally pocketing a long, arched one.

The waves crashed violently against the shore, spitting their white foam at him. Albus reached for the twig from his pocket and threw it in the choppy water. With his wand in his other hand, Albus cast a silent spell on the twig, transguring it into a handsome boat with large white sails and oak stained woodwork. With another wave of his wand, Albus conjured a rope ladder and climbed aboard.

The water shook and thrashed against the boat, but that is not why Albus was taking the journey slowly.

Until now, he had been sure of his destination but from here on out it was guesswork and gut instincts. He knew Nurmengard lay on an island (more a sand bay) but nothing more. One would think it easy to find a massive prison in the sea; but as with many other magical buildings, Nurmengard has protective enchantments rendering it invisible, until you set foot in its land.

Albus steered the boat further out to sea; occasionally throwing his arm out to the breeze, as if he were trying to feel the air, looking for signs of magic.

He searched and searched for hours, going over the same territory again and again; before he felt a sudden buzzing whip across his beard. He sailed in its direction and took a deep breath; he could smell the magic the in air.

He had found it; a small, almost undetectable, mound of sand sticking out of the water, near to the coastline.

Albus moored the boat as close as he could and jumped out. His feet only felt momentarily wet but he paid it no attention as he reversed the spell on the twig and placed it safely in his pocket.

Albus was not shocked to see the small island magically enhanced when he turned to face it. The island was still no more than 30 foot wide. A huge grey stone wall with one small iron gate was now visible. The prison was a thin but massive grey stone tower, at least one-thousand feet high. Just to look at it one felt the air of misery. It looked abandoned, though Albus knew it almost to be so. The stone had lost its battle with the rough elements and was crumbling away, moss clung to every available surface. There were no visible windows, unless you counted a few, very thin slits in the stone work.

 _"FOR THE GREATER GOOD"_

Whenever he read or heard those words he felt sick to his stomach. With guilt, with regret.

"I don't know how, but I hope you're happy now." Albus muttered to himself as he looked up at the tall, dismal fortress.

He opened the small gate, it was covered in slimy moss and seaweed, so he reached for his handkerchief before going through to walled passage way.

Standing guard outside of a small arched doorway, protected by a metal grill, was a very large troll wearing what looked like a military green tie. The troll was drooling and apparently in a daze, as he did not react as Albus approached him.

Albus even tried tickling his leg to gain his attention but all the troll did was raise his club to his nose to scratch it.

Fancying his luck, Albus reached out to touch the barrier and was pleasantly surprised to find it disappear at his touch. Inside it revealed a very small entrance hall which housed a reception desk and a dark doorway.

A middle-aged, hard-faced looking witch in matching military green robes and hat,sat behind the desk. Albus made to introduce himself but she stood and moved out from behind her desk without a word and made towards the staircase.

"Lumos," she said with a wave of her wand. "Come." She beckoned him with her hand.

"Well, she was expecting me." Albus thought amused. He too lit the tip of his wand and followed her up the narrow and winding staircase.

It took them over an hour and a half to reach the top floor of the tower. The older witch was exhausted and put of breath but ignored Albus's protests that he would be fine completing the journey alone. Deep down he suspected that she'd rather not make the journey back down alone. The staircase was in a treacherous state of disrepair and she had already slipped a few times coming up; her fate could be much worse if she slipped down.

The witch did allow him the grace of standing outside the door that guarded the top floor of the prison, whilst he went inside.

Albus made his way down the bleak corridor of empty cells taking deep heavy breaths; trying to summon the courage for who he was about to face. Just before reaching the end of the row, Albus released his spell and stashed away his wand. He did not want to give Gellert any chance to read his expression.

The darkness was overwhelming and it took a minute for Albus's eyesight to adjust. With one final breath Albus moved to face the man he loved.

His cell was no more than a 10 foot square with a stone bed and a bucket. A sliver of sunlight broke through a small crack in the stone and rested on Gellert's face.

Even though Albus had only seen him about 9 months previously, he had aged terribly. His blonde hair was long and matted, his face black with dirt which was encrusted in the lines and his greying skin hung from his bones. Albus could help but pity him.

"Albus? Is that you?" He said in an unfamiliar, croaky voice. Gellert grinned maniacally bearing his green and chipped teeth. He got to his feet slowly and painfully to grasp the iron bars between them.

"I'm glad it was you." Gellert said, his eyes down cast to the floor.

"It couldn't have been anybody else." Albus whispered sadly.

A few minutes of silence passed as Albus struggled to express what he wanted to say. Gellert played with his fingers, acting like a mad-man. He looked up to fully meet Albus's gaze.

"I almost did it, Albus." He whispered with glee.

A flash of rage shot through Albus's glare. "You went to far," he spat back through gritted teeth.

Gellert regarded his friend with an almost confused expression and then smiled serenely.

"That's why I needed you. Together we're unlimited. Together we could rule the world."

"You defy all that is good and right. You have evil in your heart and evil will never truly reign whilst there's still some good left world." Albus cried, not caring how loud his voice grew. "Do you feel no remorse? Do you not feel even one ounce of the pain you caused? Oh yes, we both planned and schemed as lads, but I could never have caused the amount of pain that you have."

Albus felt the years roll down his cheeks but did not turn away; he had waited a long time to say these words.

Gellert stared at him blankly and Albus began to wonder whether he had even heard him. Albus stared at him, rife with pregnant tension; he watched as Gellert sat back on the floor again.

"Say something. Please," Albus begged, finally.

Gellert looked up but did not bother to move even though the single ray of Sun shone directly in his eyes. It highlighted a small tear.

"Don't you love me any more, Albus?" Gellert asked with a sad expression and a child-like voice.

Albus's heart broke and he turned away.

This was not the man he had loved. This was a man driven to madness in a prison of his own making. He could not bear anger towards something that pitiable. It pained Albus to see him like this. Inside a vice was gripping ever tighter in his heart.

Albus could not cause him any more pain.

"Of course I still love you." He choked.

"Good." Gellert replied before pushing himself up and moving over to his bed. He pulled his dirty, moth eaten blanket right up to his neck and snuggled up into it.

"Night Night, Albus. Love you."

"For the greater good." Albus muttered to himself as he walked away.


End file.
